The End-All, Be-All Definitive List of Grilled Chicken Sandwiches at Casino Bars/Restaurants, As Compared to the Greatest Athletes of My Fandom
Damn, that was a mouthful….and a tasty mouthful it will be (see what I did there). Casino Guy is a larger fella who tries to watch his girlish figure by drinking Bud Lights (take your 300 calories IPAs and stick up your hippy nose) and chicken sangys (wraps instead of buns if possible, grilled cluckers instead moo’ers when available). Because of this, and the fact that this hobby has spanned decades and hundreds of samples, I can call myself the foremost expert on grilled chicken sandwiches served at casino bars in North America. And what better way to illustrate this tremendously important, highly desired ranking than to compare it my favorite athletes of all time. There is no debate here for a few reasons:
- I am always right
- I don’t care about your opinion because see #1
- See #1 again
So without further ado, here are the 5 best chicken sandwiches in North America served in casino bars/restaurants as compared to the greatest athletes of all time:
5. Mr. Perfect – The Grilled Chicken Sandwich at the DraftKings Sportsbook – del Lago Resort & Casino, Del Lago. Waterloo, NY – To say this one came out of no where as a surprise would be an understatement. You sit down to enjoy watching the Kings and Mavs hit over 106 in the first half with a few tall boys and you get the treated to a masterpiece. Much like Mr. Perfect, this bad boy delivered with a “perfect” blend of traditional and new age that anyone could appreciate:
Chicken tenders grilled to perfection topped with red peppers, smoked bacon, pepper jack cheese, garlic aioli, garlic hoagie roll served with french fries
They both made you appreciate the old adage, “don’t judge a book by it’s cover”. Who would have thought such glory would come out of a sportsbook in upstate New York? Who would thoughts such an entertaining wrestling god would come to the ring with just a singlet, white towel and a mullet that was as moist as Adriana Chechik video? No matter which you think about it, this sandwich, Curt Hennig (and Ms. Chechik for that matter) makes me appreciate the unexpected.
4. Kevin Turner – Pesto Chicken Sandwich at the TAP Sports Bar – MGM Grand Las Vegas, NV. Kevin Turner (R.I.P.) possessed all my favorite things in a old school football guy – he hit hard, he ran hard, oh by the way he caught everything and he went about his business doing all little things right. The Pesto Chicken sandwich is just like that. It has everything I could possibly want in a restaurant sandwich:
Grilled Chicken Breast, Pesto Mayo, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Red Onions, Swiss Cheese, Bacon, Hoagie Roll
The TAP has multiple locations (Springfield & Detroit to name a couple). Turner played well in multiple locations (Alabama & Philadelphia to name a couple). The Pesto sandwich in Vegas is Turner when he played for the Patriots – the best of the bunch.
3. Larry Bird – The Loaded Tavern Club at the Upstate Tavern – Turning Stone Resort Casino, Verona, NY. Your saying to yourself, “hey Casino Guy, this list seems a little east coast biased. What gives?” First off, screw pal. See that three bullet list above. Second, just wait until the honorable mention. Not my fault the best of the best is east of the Mississippi. Larry Bird, his mustache, his shooting stroke, his shorts, all of it blended into one big stew of greatness. On any given night, you could be mesmerized by one or all the things listed above. The Tavern Club mesmerized me with the combination of ingredients that previously I had individually but never combined in one mouthful of joy:
Sliced Oven Roasted Chicken, Bacon, Avocado, Vine Ripe Tomatoes, Arugula, Provolone, Pesto Aïoli, Russet House Fries
Add: Fried Egg
Much like seeing Larry Bird drop a turnaround J off one foot at the baseline in someone’s face and you say, “what the fuck was that?”…that’s what I said when I finished this sandwich. I couldn’t believe what just took place.
2. Tom Brady – Chicken Philly Cheesesteak at Hooters at the old Hooters – Sam Remo Casino, Las Vegas, NV. Tom Brady is arguably the greatest team sports athlete ever. We have seen many iterations of Tom over the years. Fat Face Nerd Tom from the first few Super Bowl years. Big Livin/Big Stat/Big Celeb Tom in the middle years. Plastic Surgery/Model Tom followed by Winning Tom again combined with TB12/Tampa Tom…it’s hard to keep track of it all except one thing – Awesomeness. He’s awesome. Always was. Always is. Hooters is awesome. For those who say no or disagree for whatever reason are just party poopers.
I’ll give you little secret, Wing Woman #1 (yes, my wife) has dragged me to 8 Hooters worldwide because she LOVES chicken wings. We’ve watched Tom Bready win multiple football games in Hooters. I get the same thing every time, the Chicken Philly Cheesesteak because I can count on being satisfied, much like watching Tom Brady or watching my lady take down a chicken wing whole at a Hooters (badabing!):
A sandwich with attitude. Steak or chicken topped with sautéed onions, green peppers, mushrooms and provolone cheese and served on a hoagie roll. Make it a Texas Cheesesteak with queso, Daytona Beach® sauce, pico de gallo and sliced jalapeños.
This sandwich is specific to the Hooters at the San Remo, the casino that then became the Hooters Casino which then became the OYO Hotel but the Hooters remained. But you can go to the one in the Trop in AC, just outside of Casino Lac Lemay near the Hooters in downtown Ottawa or in Aruba, this sandwich always delivered. Much like TB12 in Ann Arbor, Foxboro or Tampa for 20+ years. Longevity, awesomeness. Hooters and Tom Brady. Your mind is melted.
And #1….John Elway – Classic Chicken Sandwich at the Landsdowne Pub – Mohegan Sun, Uncasville, CT. John Elway was my childhood hero. He was fun as shit to watch. He did more with less (do not tell me Ricky Natiel, Clearance Kay and Steve Sewell were on par with Duper/Clayton (Marino) or Rice/Taylor/Clark/Craig (Montana)….seriously fuck off) than any Hall of Fame QB. (Ok, I am just about done fellating Mr. Elway). He was superior to his peers in just about every way – 1st pick overall in the NFL draft, 2nd round draft pick in the MLB draft by the Yankees, scratch golfer, multiple successful business, NFL executive of the year, smoking hot ex-wife, even hotter current wife. (Ok, my jaw hurts, I am done.) The Classic, which is now the Cajun Chick Sandwich but it doesn’t matter much, is simply superior to all others locally and beyond:
Grilled Chicken Breast, Lettuce, Tomato, American Cheese, & Mayonnaise
“How is this the best? It sounds so plain, Casino Guy!” Again, I am always right. The chicken, whatever it’s seasoned with, does more with less. The amount of chicken on this sangy is unrivaled (what you pansy, you want some Panera Bread sized finger sandwich or so you want a meal made for a man like John Albert Elway Jr.) and it comes on a roll that will make it move like Constanza on a massage table with Raymond the masseuse.
Elway and the Classic at the Landsdowne each brought me so much joy, I can’t thank them enough. I enjoy Elway the executive and the spokesman. I enjoy the Cajun sandwich on the menu today. But I loved the past iterations of both and the past is tough to beat.
So there you have it…the most important list you’ve ever read. Feel free to comment below. But remember, I am the expert and you are not.
- Reggie Lewis – Grilled Chicken with Bacon at Dacey’s Taproom – Firekeeper’s Casino, Battle Creek, MI
- John Hannah – Grilled Chicken (or fried) at Chickie’s & Pete’s – PARX Casino, Bensalem, PA
- Yao Ming – Teriyaki Chicken Sandwich at Jai – Beau Rivage, Biloxi, MS
- Cam Neely – Buffalo Chicken Wrap – TAP Sports Bar – MGM National Harbor, Oxon Hill, MD
- Tiger Woods – Southwest Chicken Sandwich at Blondie’s Bar & Grille – Planet Hollywood Casino, Las Vegas, NV