Rhode Island’s Twin River casino: It looks and smells the same, but the familiarity ends there
LINCOLN, R.I. – There’s only one guarantee for your next visit to Twin River casino: You’re going to leave smelling like Twin River casino.
Even after the coronavirus kept its doors closed to the public for 86 consecutive days, that distinct aroma — which kind of smells like a stew of Marlboro cigarettes, well liquor, and the cologne sample from GQ magazine — was still in the air when Twin River in Lincoln welcomed back a select group of its prized players Monday morning.
The look and smell of the casino may be familiar, but it’s hardly business as usual. From temperature checks at the door to social distancing restrictions that leave two or three slot machines between players, the casino is slowly adjusting to the new normal while still trying to entice customers after months with virtually zero revenue coming in — for Twin River, and the state.
Not every Joe from Cranston, R.I., was allowed to visit the casinos in Lincoln and Tiverton on Monday. Twin River sent invitations to 4,000 players, and officials expect roughly 1,500 people to visit each day over the next two weeks. Craig Sculos, a vice president and general manager at Twin River, declined to say exactly how the 4,000 people were chosen, but he acknowledged that frequent use of their player rewards cards played a role in the invitations.
I mean, what the hell is THIS? What the HELL is this?!?! The Casino Guy, Twin River’s biggest fan, biggest advocate, top 5 biggest degenerate (on a cost per visit basis only) is not part of the first wave of folks invited back? Does the Twin River Management Group not know who I am (newsflash: obviously not) or how much pent up bankroll is waiting for them to take (seconds newsflash: actually still reeling from the last trip in March). Whatever algorithm you chose to pick names or backroom draft the staff went through to chose who gets to walk through that door is fucking flawed. Your boy should have made the list, and that’s the bottom line, because Casino Guy said so!
In all seriousness, there are a lot of pissed off people out there who think they should have been part of the chosen ones. To be honest, I am a little surprised I wasn’t but I will live. I have scratched my skin to the bone waiting for table game action. What’s another couple weeks?
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