That escalated quickly!


When you write a blog about your trials and tribulations in casino gambling, it’s hard to provide updates when the whole world is shut down.  Now, we have a few states stay “fuck it” and open up casinos with “restrictions” and let folks saunter back in to lay their hard earned money down for a chance at a better life OR a have a bad run in with the Elf.  In this case, someone went from “I’m finally out of the house” to “HOLY SHIT, I’M FINALLY ABLE AFFORD THAT SHUFFLEBOARD TABLE I ALWAYS WANTED” in a matter of seconds.  (Side note: is there any liesure game more insanely expensive than a home shuffleboard table?  I mean look at this shit.  It’s fun and all, but come on.)

Full disclosure:  I absolutely adore Let it Ride with the 3 Card Bonus.  I’ve said it a hundred times here at  I’ve sought it out at places.  I’ve dragged folks a hundred miles out of the way just to play at a place that allowed you to play more than your ante on the 3 card.  In the beginning, it was the game I likened to printing free money.  In the 2nd act of Casino Guy’s career, it was the game that generated my two largest wins (that was before I realized it was SOOOOOOO much more fun to gamble with money you really couldn’t afford to lose – just kidding.  Please gamble responsibly:  I’ve played thousands of hands, some that even paid out nice little chunks – four of a kind on the hand, 3 card straight flushes and 3 of a kind on the bonus, etc.  But will you look at this muthatruckinsonofabitchchickenfucker hand this guy gets in the OPENING weekend of action in Vegas.  My initial reaction was:


Why couldn’t that have been me!?!?

Not only do you hit the spade 3 card flush but then follow it up with the 5 card spade Royal and this asshole is also playing the progressive, spacemountainwhich by the size of the payout has not been hit since Adam had a rib taken out so he could have someone he could take Space Mountain under the apple tree in the Garden of Eden.  There is nothing, NOTHING more perfect than that hand except the fact than Johnny Milktoast here is playing the table minimum and left thousands of dollars on the table because he wanted to spread his bankroll over the couple days he was there.  Just simply unbelievable.  Which leads me to my next point….

Isn’t it a little convenient that on the first weekend out of the gate after a “global pandemic” where foot traffic will be light because the average Joe will be still a little skittish about catching the ole ’19 that some presumably average Joe tourist hits for $670k betting only $40 (he could pull back the other two bets smart guy….know the game)?  What better advertisement than “Look at the humongous profits that any Tom, Dick or Mary (it’s 2020 – don’t be sexist) could earn here in Vegas!!!”  I’m on to you Caesars.  I’m on to you.  $670k well spent.


*Follow on Twitter at @casinoguyreview now that we are coming out the back end of the human centipede known as COVID-19.  Tell a friend.  Click, click, click.


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