Disclaimer: This post is not to minimize the severity of what’s going on in this unprecedented time.  It’s just a way to write up a couple jokes and pass some time while the Casino Guy is locked in his suburban prison with his family for the foreseeable future…

Let’s run down a few things that can eat a big ole bag of dicks from this week:

• Kenny Rogers is dead.  I’m not gonna lie, I loved that song since I was knee high to a grasshopper.  I sang it when things were good.  I sang it when things were bad.  I never took it’s advice but that was part of the fun of it.  The song played prominently at my wedding and will be played at my funeral.  It’s taken me almost a week to put words into print and the only thing that continually came to mind was “that blows”.

This is the Kenny I will remember, not that constantly surprised dude who was been around the last few years.

Shout out to Kenny for leaving my wife and I in the lurch in Southern California in the days before GPS on your phones.  Read about it here.  I forgive you big fella.  Enjoy motorboating every Southern Belle in heaven with that majestic, perfectly sculpted, white cherub face of yours.

• If we leave the house, we all will die.  Of course that’s what you will think if you spend your days online reading headlines or watching the major news networks.  We aren’t here to talk about that (see disclaimer above).  No, we are for good times and noodle salad.  I am going to flip that first sentence and say, if I don’t leave the house, someone may die.  Now that could be me from complete boredom.  That could also be me because Wing Woman #1 and the Junior Casino Guys could start an uprising and sacrifice me to the Virus Gods as I have probably worn out my welcome….Or it could be a family member who catches the other end of a violently shaking Casino Guy’s hand because we are going on 3 weeks of no gambling.  No sports.  No entertainment.  No nuthin.  I am about to cancel two trips that would have netted 42 new properties.  FORTY – FUCKING – TWO.  Ya boy was on his was on his way to Ted Williams and now…I’m stuck at Paul Molitor.
  

  Who drops em more? The greatest hitter, fighter pilot war hero, fly fisherman extraordinaire….

  

  Or the middle school science teacher?
•  The gaming industry will likely never be the same.  I don’t know if they are going to go full H2 or an oversized and ignored co-ed and overcompensate the shit out of us to get traffic back in the door….
  

  

  Or will they be Scrooge McDuck until they start turning the red into black.  Let’s hope for the former.  Insecurity and desperation are powerful tools.

No joke.  Stay inside until you get the all clear.  Once you do, get out there and bukaki your discretionary cash all over those businesses that got hurt the most.  And always remember:

Coming next week….a week 4 update and more from Minnesota, New Hampshire, Ohio and New York.