Well that didn’t go as planned. After the massive comeback thanks to a bunch of suited matches and the baddest of bad assed rap crews I have ever met, the next few outings in the year of the Casino Guy went south. Real south.
First we had the crime of the century.
Then, we had a triad of factors, the main one being Ice Cube. Yes this Ice Cube:
As I have stated in the past, I am a SUCKER for free stuff. So when the prospect of Mohegan Sun giving multiple free things in one night presented itself, I was sucked in like the gravitational pull of a black hole. First was a free steel lasagna pan with three removable trays. I mean, come on. This is a no-brainer. Everyone loves lasagna. And to be able to make THREE lasagnas at the same time, fucking sign me up. I was fully torqued all the way down there. I even sat in a line WAY TOO LONG for a lasagna pan to get said lasagna pan.
Then there were the tickets to the Home and Garden show. Okay, not my bag but what would it hurt. Casino Guy is potentially in the market to redo his backyard and maybe I can get an idea or two. Well, no ideas came to me but I got my steps in and hammered down a few Bud Light aluminum bottles cruising this place for 7 minutes. Can I say this though, there were SOOOOO many people there who were into the whole thing – talking to vendors, getting free pens and gift bags, picking up pamphlets and signing up for Lord knows what….conventions and trade shows are a whole world that I just don’t know about (much like competitive cheerleading, underground sex clubs, coin collecting just to name a few more).
The coup de grace was two tickets to the Ice Cube concert at Mohegan Sun Arena. Cube has been around for a while with music going back over 30 years. He is richer than god. He is a successful actor (no shit, as I write this, the 21 Jump Street reboot is on and Ice Cube is GREAT in it) and business man. The fact that he is still touring blew my mind. He was part of a group from my formative years who actually made me like rap music and think the Raiders were a legit NFL franchise, we all know that was not the case.
I won’t get into the incredible number of middle aged white guys throwing up west side hand signals and dancing like they were watching the final battle in 8 Mile, or the fact that the lines to get tickets was so long they probably delayed the start of the show for 75 minutes, or the story of the little old lady, her husband and her little old lady friend sitting in the row next to me actually lasting 2 and half songs of some pretty aggressive lyrics from the top of Cube’s catalog before bouncing with THE MOST CONFUSED LOOK on their faces and I won’t get into how goddamn good this show was – very entertaining, quick, to the point and just the hits. I won’t talk about all that, because that’s not what I am blaming my limping into the next loop on. By the way, it’s a loop that has ten, yeah fucking 10, stops on it – and I need ALL the bankroll I can get at this time.
No, I blame Ice Cube. The man who famously sat on the porch with Smokey and proceeded to get high as fuck cause he didn’t have no job and he didn’t have shit to do. The man who simply sang Smoke Some Weed.
Look, I always say, “whatever you do, do it well. Go big or go home.” That applies to just about anything. Gambling, reading, speed walking, checkers and recreational drugs. See I don’t partake in any drug activities like good ole just-about-legal-everywhere marijuana, but I also don’t care if you do. Back in the day I was in. Now, I am fine with just drinking. Sometimes that mentality has made me the odd man out. Usually that would be in a small crowd of 2 or 3 people passing it around. In this case, I may have been the odd man out in a crowd of 2 to 3 thousand. Mohegan Sun Arena was an awesome fishbowl as soon as the lights went down and the bass kicked in. And with that, ya boy got a good ole fashioned contact high. I’m not complaining, I am thankful for everyone sharing their good time with me. But I have positively identified the perpetrator in the police line-up causing me to lose all my money. There is no other explanation. Well, maybe the following also had something to do with it:
- the beers
- me betting like an asshole out of my unit “range”
- doubling and splitting every chance I got with those high bets out there and seemingly not winning a single hand
- the kid who was purposefully sitting at my table just to be a cooler
- the guy and his wife who sat in third base and immediately surrendered a hand throwing the whole fucking shoe off
- the never ending string of 4 card 19s and 20s our rotating cast of dealers kept pulling
So Ice Cube, you and the unluckiest place on earth got me this time. I will be back at the end of March. Who knows what free shit is in store then? (In the some upcoming post, I will list out some of the absurd things I have been comped. Not the offers because that list would be unmanageable, but actually accepted. There are some gems for sure….)
Next week we’ve got 10 stops, including 7 new casinos to add to the list. Where do you go when then weather is shitty in the northeast? You go to luxurious Cleveland and tropical Detroit. That’s how the Casino Guy vacations!!! Make sure you watch the Cavs vs. Celtics on Wednesday and look for big bald head with a black jacket on in the second row at center court. I backed into some pretty damn good seats. My wingman for this trip and I will have bet on everything under the sun on this one so wish us luck!