Why? Why don’t you love me?

why

When you give your love to someone or something so unconditionally, so fully and you don’t get that love back, you start to question your mindset.  You start to think, “what the hell am I doing wrong?  What did I ever do to you?” Casino Guy loves to gamble.  As a tyke, it was the harness or the dog track.  As tween, it was poker for baseball cards.  As a teen and young adult, home games.  Then I got a job and a regular paycheck which lead to me strolling into casinos staring down a Caribbean Stud table like:

dirty

That’s a Dirty Dancing GIF right in your face!

And me calling my bookie like:show

Gambling has been the longest relationship I’ve ever had.  Yeah, I gave up betting on sports for a long time because I am a FUCKING DISASTER at it but I stayed with everything else because I love it.  I really do, right?  It’s kinda my thang dawg, right?  Hell, I changed my name to Casino Guy.  Did I settle?  Should I have chosen another hobby like botany or cryptograhy?  Why do I love something so much that rarely loved me back?

Nothing sums my relationship up with gambling more than Kenny Powers’ night at the school dance.

When it’s good, it’s poetic words and classy dancing.  When it’s bad, it’s uncontrollable sweating and reversals of fortune.  My love and I are in a bad place right now.  I have no idea if it will ever get better.  And frankly, I don’t care.  Why?  Cause…..

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