If you’ve seen it once, you seen it a thousand times. Degenerate travels in driving rainstorm 50 minutes each way with a 2 hour window to pick up a “valued player” offer at local casino. Degenerate uses his 20 minutes of free time to play some heavy Blackjack. Degenerate experiences WILD swings heads up (no mid-shoe entry, how I love thee) against a dealer for a full shoe for stacks of clay chips. Degenerate is down to the felt and miraculously hits a suited match bonus bet (as previously mentioned here, I freaking LOVE Match the Dealer) to come back from the dead. Degenerate leaves one hand too late in order to secure a nice-to-have score instead of the large score that could have been.

A few quick hits to further describe my last mini-excursion:

1. A hard stop / time budget apparently has the same impact on the amount I bet per hand as between 4 and 14 cocktails does.
2. Did I mention how much I love Match the Dealer? 11 to 1 for a suited match with the right amount of money on it will make a difference, even in the biggest of holes. Shit, if you are smart with your hedge, the 4 to 1 non-suited match makes a losing blackjack hand easier to swallow or a winning hand doubly good…
3. Being in the black so much so early and the dropping down so low is the worst feeling. BUT….pulling one of these puts a pep in your step for the rest of the day….
4. I have never been able to leave the table at the right time. I wish there was a dude with a leash that followed me around everywhere and pulled me out of bullshit like this when things start to turn. Better to be too early than too late, amirite?
5. New casinos will do what they can to get you to chose their spot and not someone else’s. Giveaways like the one I was offered are a great way to get my money to sit down, even if so brief. A gift card to a big box retailer is no skin off the back of this place if they would have seen me not spike that Jack of Hearts at the same time as Richard did. Side note – don’t forget to tip your dealers. You are welcome Richard.
6. I literally said to Richard,”Oh well, last hand.” How many times have you said that and the Gambling Gods tapped you on the shoulder and said “No, no, no. We ain’t done yet. We’ve only begun to screw with you.”? It is utterly amazing how it happens every damn time. Just when you think you are out, they pull you back in.

Finally, I am a huge Barstool Sports fan. On a philosophical basis, Dan and Dave have never said anything more spot on than in the clip below. I watched this happen live and I could not have agreed more:

“I love gambling.” – @BarstoolBigCat

“It’s the best!” – @stoolpresidente pic.twitter.com/Sx9A9qvB5p

— Barstool Gambling (@BarstoolGamblin) January 8, 2019

Preach boys. Preach.